If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied, and illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs...

I've dug myself a hell of a hole and filled it full of lies and half truths, and without knowing it was happening I got buried at the bottom. The good news, theoretically, is that there's nowhere to go but up. Experience, however, tells me that's not the truth. I could just stay right here. And really, that's what I'm most afraid of.

"Up" feels more like an idea than a direction at the moment, though, and I'm way too disoriented to make my way anywhere that abstract. So for now, instead of trying to change the direction of my life, I'll just change the direction of my days. Do something worthwhile for someone else every day...just one simple act, put one positive thing out into the universe. I know when changing you're supposed to focus on yourself rather than others, but I've done that so long and in so many wrong ways that I no longer have a point of reference with which to look at myself.

So I'll give this a try and we'll see how it goes.